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Thursday, September 11 @ 2:34 AM
I didnt go to school today
somehow i just felt so lazy to go to school.. NothinG interest me execpt for ma classmates, jokers n loving friends.. i just think dat i prefer studying and revising my work at home.. just doing my revision for one whole day.. finally i feel i examination vibes. Thank god! i thought i would be immune to it and will not start studying at all.. Its been pressurizing moments for me.. Rushing through notes.. cracking ma brains trying to filled every single things into ma head.. Gosh time is running out. served me right for being a late starter. I got no time to hang loose. no time having fun no time to meet my dearest. gost such a hectic schedule for me. nevertheless..sometimes it could really drive me insane.. when that points comes.. i just broke down into tears.. oh man!! i need some encouragement badly now. sometimes i just felt so frustrated. and when i need someone to comfort me. i have no one to turn to.. i noe ma besties are all busy with their preparations as well.. so i dont blame them for not being there for me. sometimes its just felt so great to have someone who gave u encouragement.. boost up ur high spirits.. makin sure that ure not in a low self esteem.. my handphone is less beeping nowdays.. Having a boyfriend means nothing to me.. it was as though he does not co exist in my life.. sometimes at a certain point i kept reminisce e past between me and him.. e unforgotten past..it still haunts me now and then.. i rmb every single details vividly.. e times where i saw him with dat gal.. e pictures of him n her at prom night n everything.. pple say let bygones be bygones but e past is a barrier between me and him.. till today i still could not believe dat my own friend n boyfriend betray me it is e most unaceptable things .. actually i could not forgive them. e hurt that they have brought upon me.. For god sake i doesnt know why im back with him? it is because out of pity or love? is there still have a glimpse of love for him?" am i lying to maself or am i happy being this way? i want to have a happy n better relationships but e thought of fighting with him every single day over e slightest things reallie makes me frustrated. e thought of him controlling with ma life.. which i think is being unfair to me though he do lavish me with e things that i want but it is just so hard for me to love him like before.. am i being unfair to him? i need a boyfriend who can love me, understand me n someone whom i can trust and depend on.. someone whom i will not be afraid to open up someone who can read me like a book someone who treat me like their princess.. i need a time break..i do |
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