nxt up abt shafiq
sometimes i just felt that izzit wrung for metolove two person at a time?
i do have affection for both mal n shafiq
e problem is im confused to choose between who?
making decision between the both of them is like taking a knife and slash it on ma wrist after that e i can fell sense of sasticfation of e pain and felt relief..
hw manic i can be right?
then again
itz juzt hard 4 m3..itz either one i have to choose..
gosh itz craziee 4 me..
for shafiq..i have been with hym for so long n he noe me inside out..n i noe hyminside out too..itz juzt too hard for me to walked away..
hes sweet at times bt cn be defiant too..
i noe deep inside hes heart he love me truly..
n give his best for me n sacrifices alot for me..
i appreciate that..
but one thing which irritates me is his fcuk up attitude..n hes totally controlling every sgl ting in my life..which i detest abt that..im 17 n i still wana make more frens..enjoying whatever i could likeothers teenagers..
this nt e time formeto settled dwn...
i still wana enjoy..get it..
even what i wana wear he cntrl me..hw pathetic that culd be..
if onli he understand..if onli he could acept ma social life..haish
i cnt be e old ummu who can alwaes listen to hym..
n cn live without ma friends
things have changed..
i have changed eversince u went to that dat bitch
n i change e fact bt dat..
after u left me then i realise hw stoopid i was to be clinging on to u n to step out to e real world ..i was dumb for that..
after u came bck to me..u cnt expect me to be e same..im different..
ymuz thi happen this way?

n for jamal i onli noe hym for few mths..bt he make wonders to ma life..n i simply love it..he understand me..
n everytime he looked at me e little hairs on my back started to crackle and for a deep rosy flush to spread frmmy neck to my chins tomy cheeks..
hes great n everything...

oh gosh cn i have both??
damm...haish